What? March 20th already? Where is the month going? I can't really complain though, it just means I'm another day closer to graduation. I get so excited about finishing High School and moving out and going to school, but then it hits me. I'm leaving, and I have to sign up for classes, college classes. Then it just turns into this huge thing I stress over.
I'm about half way done with my CNA class. The time has gone by so fast and I've learned quite a bit already. In fact I've already done my Saturday 8 hour clinical. Let me tell you, 8 hours is a long time to be on your feet and by the end of it you're ready for bed. I had to get up at 4:30 so I could be ready to leave the house by 5:30. The nursing home I went to was in Payson and I had the hardest time finding it. I was so glad I left early because I spent a good 15 minutes just finding the place. I don't know how keen I am on working from 6 am till 2 pm. I'd almost rather work a night shift but getting off at 2 isn't so bad.
The people in the nursing home are for the most part very sweet and love to talk. I always have to remember to speak up though, because even people who have good hearing have a hard time hearing me. It didn't really phase me when we were helping people shower. I just don't really remember any of it being too gross, except for toileting, I had a hard time with that. Maybe I'm just blocking it all out lol.
I love the warm weather we're getting, I just wish it would stay! I'm sic of having it me in the high 40's one day and then snowing the next. Spring just needs to stay for good because this better weather has definitely improved my mood. I wish I could have the summer off to just kind of chill but I have a feeling I'll be busy with preparing for college, which may be a good thing but it makes me nervous to think about. I still can't really believe I'll be on my own in less than 6 months time.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Eighteen!!
Nearly two months, tisk tisk me. The New Year has come and gone and I've been 18 for almost two weeks. I didn't really believe everyone when they said that your Senior year flies by, I have found this to be true though. Where did all my time go? In six months time I'll be living on my own in Cedar City, a four hour drive away from any family and though I'll have Kaitlynn down there with me (which I'm so thankful for) it's still so strange to think of myself as a separate entity. No longer part of the Harrison household but still a part of the Harrison family (if that makes any sense)
I think I'm looking forward to the fresh start. In Cedar City, nobody knows me. No one knows my baggage, no one knows the things I've struggled with (with the exception of Kaitlynn), and best of all, no one will have known my mother. It's almost like I can escape the memory. No, I don't think memory is the right word, but there is nothing Cedar City or at SUU that I can associate with her. No memories being randomly triggered, no chance of accidentally bumping into someone she once knew, things like that. I know that leaving doesn't guarantee that any of these things won't happen. I know there is always a chance, but it drastically reduced which I'm grateful for.
Dad was awesome and took me to Disneyland for my 18th birthday. I know it seems a little childish but I love that place. I have so many happy memories stored up from when I was there, especially when it was just Dad, Curtis, and me. Though I had been with mom a few times I don't think of it like that. It's where my family goes, my slightly modified family. Sometimes it feels almost normal, it being just the three of us but it still feels like somethings missing. Maybe that's the way it will always be, maybe not. Only time will tell us I suppose.
Back to my amazing birthday. We left Monday night the 8th at 10 o'clock and drove on down to Anaheim. Dad drove most of the way, but I drove from Vegas to Barstow (which is really only about an hour or so). I felt kinda proud, it was 4 in the morning though so the traffic was pretty light, lots of semi-trucks though. We go there Tuesday morning and slept in the car for a little bit. I felt a little strange just parking in a random parking lot and sleeping for an hour. Our hotel wouldn't let us check in till noon so we just went to the park.
Tuesday it rained like crazy all day, and my poor little feet got soaked and a bit blistered (the price of Disneyland). One good thing about rain in Disneyland, it usually drives everyone out, so the lines are super short. We got there when the park opened at 9 and stayed till 12, but after that it was too cold, too wet, and we were exhausted from being on the road and Dad had maybe 3 hours of sleep, so we went back to the hotel room and crashed. We didn't go back to the park that night. I fell asleep for 3 hours or something like that and then slept solid through the night.
Wednesday was nice again, a little cold but so much better then anything here. I had friends texting me and calling me to complain about the snow they were getting while I enjoyed 65 degree weather. We had a blast going on all the rides, though we had hit most of our favorite ones the day before. We also went to the DCA that day as well and did a lot of the stuff there. For lunch we went to Watson's Drug Store and Soda Fountain in Orange, then went into this amazing vintage shop. There were so many beautiful clothes, shoes, hats, jewelry, bags and anything else you can think of. I wish I could have bought the whole store!
Thursday I was officially 18 and got a cool little Disneyland badge that said Happy Birthday Whitney on it and it was just adorable. We went on more rides and had my birthday dinner at The Blue Bayou restaurant, which is inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride (which is awesome!) Then when we were done for the day we went and got ice cream at Watson's again. The three of us split this massive Oreo brownie sundae that was amazing! All in all an amazing birthday.
I'm tired now and I think I'll update a little bit more tomorrow :)
I think I'm looking forward to the fresh start. In Cedar City, nobody knows me. No one knows my baggage, no one knows the things I've struggled with (with the exception of Kaitlynn), and best of all, no one will have known my mother. It's almost like I can escape the memory. No, I don't think memory is the right word, but there is nothing Cedar City or at SUU that I can associate with her. No memories being randomly triggered, no chance of accidentally bumping into someone she once knew, things like that. I know that leaving doesn't guarantee that any of these things won't happen. I know there is always a chance, but it drastically reduced which I'm grateful for.
Dad was awesome and took me to Disneyland for my 18th birthday. I know it seems a little childish but I love that place. I have so many happy memories stored up from when I was there, especially when it was just Dad, Curtis, and me. Though I had been with mom a few times I don't think of it like that. It's where my family goes, my slightly modified family. Sometimes it feels almost normal, it being just the three of us but it still feels like somethings missing. Maybe that's the way it will always be, maybe not. Only time will tell us I suppose.
Back to my amazing birthday. We left Monday night the 8th at 10 o'clock and drove on down to Anaheim. Dad drove most of the way, but I drove from Vegas to Barstow (which is really only about an hour or so). I felt kinda proud, it was 4 in the morning though so the traffic was pretty light, lots of semi-trucks though. We go there Tuesday morning and slept in the car for a little bit. I felt a little strange just parking in a random parking lot and sleeping for an hour. Our hotel wouldn't let us check in till noon so we just went to the park.
Tuesday it rained like crazy all day, and my poor little feet got soaked and a bit blistered (the price of Disneyland). One good thing about rain in Disneyland, it usually drives everyone out, so the lines are super short. We got there when the park opened at 9 and stayed till 12, but after that it was too cold, too wet, and we were exhausted from being on the road and Dad had maybe 3 hours of sleep, so we went back to the hotel room and crashed. We didn't go back to the park that night. I fell asleep for 3 hours or something like that and then slept solid through the night.
Wednesday was nice again, a little cold but so much better then anything here. I had friends texting me and calling me to complain about the snow they were getting while I enjoyed 65 degree weather. We had a blast going on all the rides, though we had hit most of our favorite ones the day before. We also went to the DCA that day as well and did a lot of the stuff there. For lunch we went to Watson's Drug Store and Soda Fountain in Orange, then went into this amazing vintage shop. There were so many beautiful clothes, shoes, hats, jewelry, bags and anything else you can think of. I wish I could have bought the whole store!
Thursday I was officially 18 and got a cool little Disneyland badge that said Happy Birthday Whitney on it and it was just adorable. We went on more rides and had my birthday dinner at The Blue Bayou restaurant, which is inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride (which is awesome!) Then when we were done for the day we went and got ice cream at Watson's again. The three of us split this massive Oreo brownie sundae that was amazing! All in all an amazing birthday.
I'm tired now and I think I'll update a little bit more tomorrow :)
Friday, December 25, 2009
CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS!
Christmas day is awesome, I'll just put that out there. I couldn't fall asleep till like 3.00 because I was so excited and then I rolled out of bed around 8.20 and woke Curt up. (Shocking I know, I never wake up before Curtis) I got most of what I wanted, I'll be annoying and post a list of everything
<----- Front of the locket
- Black Converse
- Boots
- iPod Dock (though I think we may have to return that because it doesn't have a wall adapter)
- Pocket Watch Locket (by far my favorite gift.
- Stockig Stuffers that I'm not gonna bother to list.
- Awesome Leather Gloves (I'm calling them my driving gloves)
- Shiny Silver Wallet
<----- Front of the locketInside of the locket and the watch face---->
<---- The back of the locket
It's the same color and like I said not that big at all. I love it to death!!
Here is a link to her Etsy shop, she has so many beautiful pieces for sale, I wish I could buy them all. I love Etsy, it houses so many creative people and the things they can make astound me! They also sell tons of vintage things, I spend hours just looking through things and wishing I had a disposable income :)
Thursday, December 24, 2009
2.30 Blogging
Yes I'm well aware that it's 2.30 in the morning but I can't sleep and I figured I'd pass the time by posting and listen to some Lady Gaga. I'm not always into her but tonight felt like a good time to listen to her. Christmas is tomorrow I suppose. Though to me it feels like Wednesday hasn't ended yet. I can't wait to see what I get for Christmas. It's a little surreal knowing that this is my last Christmas living at home. I'm sure I'll come home next year over break, but I won't be living in the same house as my dad and Curtis. At least I hope not. I need to get out of here sooner rather then later. I need to fill out my application for SUU but none of the printers in my house work so there goes printing it out and filling it out. Bleh why can't they just assume I want to go to their school and just give me a place. Ah well, if wishes were fishes.....
So I know the movie is almost 4 years old or so but I love the Marie Antoinette soundtrack, it's just AWESOME! I usually don't listen to any of the artists on the soundtrack, just because I've never been exposed to most of them. The Strokes song is great as are all the ones by Bow Wow Wow, especially
Aphrodisiac. Every time that song come up on my shuffle I feel like dancing, however I'm too much of an introvert and wouldn't dream of actually doing so, at least, not while there were any witnesses. Ah this album always made me remember how much I loved New Order. Adam Ant is on here as well and I've tried to get into some of his stuff but I've had a hard time of it. I do like the drum line on Kings of the Wild Frontier though.
Hmm, guess I'm not really in a Lady Gaga mood anymore :)
So I know the movie is almost 4 years old or so but I love the Marie Antoinette soundtrack, it's just AWESOME! I usually don't listen to any of the artists on the soundtrack, just because I've never been exposed to most of them. The Strokes song is great as are all the ones by Bow Wow Wow, especially
Aphrodisiac. Every time that song come up on my shuffle I feel like dancing, however I'm too much of an introvert and wouldn't dream of actually doing so, at least, not while there were any witnesses. Ah this album always made me remember how much I loved New Order. Adam Ant is on here as well and I've tried to get into some of his stuff but I've had a hard time of it. I do like the drum line on Kings of the Wild Frontier though.
Hmm, guess I'm not really in a Lady Gaga mood anymore :)
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Why Christmas Isn't Always So Merry.
I can't seem to shake this feeling of depression that's been hanging over my head lately. I don't know if it's the fact that term is ending and I'm stressing about that, if it's my pretty nonexistent social life, or that it's the holiday season again. Maybe a combination of all of them, I just hate feeling so good for a while then just wanting to drop it all and move far far far away.
Grades were due today so there really isn't much I can do to change what I have now. I just hope I'll be okay. School feels like such a challenge sometimes, especially math and physics. I'm so terrified that I won't be able to handle college, I don't want to be a drop out. Christmas break really couldn't come at a better time, I feel like if I don't get a break soon my brain will implode.
Christmas is hard. It's a hell of a lot easier then it was 3 years ago but it's still a little sad and melancholy. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, I love the sights and smells and sounds. I love being close to my family and friends who care about and love me. I just wish my family felt complete. I mean I miss my mom, of course, and around the holidays it's hard know that she won't be here for yet another one and never will be again, but now it's more like I miss feeling like a whole family. You know, mom, dad, sister, brother. Curt, Dad, and I are a family I know that, and we're close but it always feels like we're missing some key element and it bugs me. It's not even that I want my mom back (don't get me wrong, I love her and always will, but I've learned to live without her and I can see how things in my life really wouldn't change if she was here so it's no use wishing) it's that I want somebody to care about me like a parent does. Dad cares, he cares a lot and I love him for that but I want to be selfish and have two people care for me like that. I don't think I'll ever get that though, I should be happy with the parent I still have (and I really am blessed that dad is here for me) but I just want what my friends have. I want a mom, because apparently I don't get my real one. I know I'm almost 18 and I'll be leaving soon but I think that no matter how old you get, some part of you always wants your mom, or somebody to care for you like your mother did. Okay, now it's time to put my abandonment issues back into their little box.
Grades were due today so there really isn't much I can do to change what I have now. I just hope I'll be okay. School feels like such a challenge sometimes, especially math and physics. I'm so terrified that I won't be able to handle college, I don't want to be a drop out. Christmas break really couldn't come at a better time, I feel like if I don't get a break soon my brain will implode.
Christmas is hard. It's a hell of a lot easier then it was 3 years ago but it's still a little sad and melancholy. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, I love the sights and smells and sounds. I love being close to my family and friends who care about and love me. I just wish my family felt complete. I mean I miss my mom, of course, and around the holidays it's hard know that she won't be here for yet another one and never will be again, but now it's more like I miss feeling like a whole family. You know, mom, dad, sister, brother. Curt, Dad, and I are a family I know that, and we're close but it always feels like we're missing some key element and it bugs me. It's not even that I want my mom back (don't get me wrong, I love her and always will, but I've learned to live without her and I can see how things in my life really wouldn't change if she was here so it's no use wishing) it's that I want somebody to care about me like a parent does. Dad cares, he cares a lot and I love him for that but I want to be selfish and have two people care for me like that. I don't think I'll ever get that though, I should be happy with the parent I still have (and I really am blessed that dad is here for me) but I just want what my friends have. I want a mom, because apparently I don't get my real one. I know I'm almost 18 and I'll be leaving soon but I think that no matter how old you get, some part of you always wants your mom, or somebody to care for you like your mother did. Okay, now it's time to put my abandonment issues back into their little box.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Nothing Gets Crossed Out
That's pretty much the story of my life. I have all these goals and tasks to do and I never can seem to get them done. The list gets longer and longer. Thank goodness Christmas is almost here, I can't wait! Thanksgiving was fun, I ate way too much BBQ'd turkey and yams, had a great time at Samantha's, and had a nice break. I'm ready for Christmas though, it's weird to think that this is my last holiday season at home. I mean I'll come home for Christmas and stuff but I won't actually be living with my family anymore. I wonder what that'll be like.
I drove to school today for the first time in like two weeks. It started snowing, and heavily, around then and I do not drive in the snow or ice. Today I finally braved the roads (seeing as they were all pretty much clear and dry) and things were fine. It was my first time driving the new BMW and it seemed to handle great. All that changed when I got into the school parking lot. The thing is covered in ice, like a skating rink. I was so scared, my back end kept sliding around and I had no idea how to put the 4-wheel drive on. It took me forever to park and I was so freaked out. I made it though thank heaven and didn't kill myself or any one around me.
Speaking of all the ice, it is a terrible, terrible thing. I've already had my first fall of the winter. This happened Saturday when I was up at my aunt Natée's and my uncle Dan's house. Just as my dad and I are leaving, I start walking down their steps and fall flat on my butt. It hurt so friggin bad! I thought I was safe for a while though. I mean get the first slip out of the way and there is no way gravity will be so cruel as to let you fall three days later. Well let me tell you, gravity is a bitch. I was walking to seminary today, minding my own business, and next thing I know I'm on the ground on top of this huge slab of ice. I should sue the school for not properly removing snow and ice. The whole back side of the school and all the portable's are covered. If they expect us to have class out there they need to make it SAFE! Heating the stupid buildings (with more then one little space heater) would be awesome to.
My jacket smells like fried foods. We went to Chile's tonight after Curt's choir concert. It was pretty tasty, but this huge group next to us had these obnoxious guys that would not shut up.
I need to figure out what classes to take next semester. I want to try and get my CNA but I need to figure out if I can drop some classes so I can actually take the CNA course. Blah I'm tired and I need to get up at like 5.30 for a seminary morning side.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Weekend Wars
It's been an age since I last posted. I'm now the proud recipient of a 21 on the ACT, sister to a 16 year old brother, owner of a new drawstring bag which I made. Things have been okay, though to tell you the truth I'm absolutely wiped out. I feel like have so much going on, when in reality I really don't. I'm just lazy and my time seems to fly by.
Curt has a jazz concert tonight at 7. I'm excited to hear them play, I know Curt has been working really hard. The weather was great today, fairly warm which is great because I'm getting sick of the cold. I think it's a bad sign. seeing as it's only been really cold for maybe two weeks and I'm already looking forward to spring. It's snowed a little bit since I last posted but never enough for it to stick to the ground for very long. It's melted by the next day.
I kinda want to go see New Moon. I vowed that I wouldn't get too excited about it but I can't help it. I'm excited and I refuse to feel ashamed. I wish I had tickets for tomorrow, but I'll probably have to wait a while to see it. Ah C'est la vie.
MMMM. I smell pizza!
Curt has a jazz concert tonight at 7. I'm excited to hear them play, I know Curt has been working really hard. The weather was great today, fairly warm which is great because I'm getting sick of the cold. I think it's a bad sign. seeing as it's only been really cold for maybe two weeks and I'm already looking forward to spring. It's snowed a little bit since I last posted but never enough for it to stick to the ground for very long. It's melted by the next day.
I kinda want to go see New Moon. I vowed that I wouldn't get too excited about it but I can't help it. I'm excited and I refuse to feel ashamed. I wish I had tickets for tomorrow, but I'll probably have to wait a while to see it. Ah C'est la vie.
MMMM. I smell pizza!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
